dsullivan admin Posts : 137 |
Posted 14/06/2007 05:26:12 PM | | I don't see anything in the first chapter that I would change. Well written. Descrïptions of characters, places, and things are all convincing. Nice sensory input and imagery. Dialog is handled well. Suspense is building (what is the connection between the two sets of twins?) No conflict as yet, but the reader can sense it coming.
Well, there is one wee change I would make. "Abattoir" sent me to the dictionary, and that interrupted the flow of the story. I think "slaughterhouse" would have been a more dramatic choice. But then, that's a matter of differences in writing style.
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