I found this short narrative delightfully taunting and surprisingly complete when I finished it.  I’m not certain that anything at all should be changed with this lovely piece of soulful art.  I was especially fond of your descrïptions like this one:

“…her hair flowing like a waterfall of molten copper…”

A perfect short to accent a collection perhaps. Or just to say hello.  

--Last edited by dsullivan on 2007-05-26 20:43:58 --

Thank you. I appreciate the comment.

I initially did write this one to kick off a collection of shorts (or maybe to expand into a novel) revolving around the seven sins (hence the title, so it is good to know that possibly other shorts of its nature would be recieved well? I have thrown around the idea in my head for a while now so...I just need to get writing. I keep distracting myself.

Again, thanks for the feedback.

Your welcome.

I really enjoyed this piece also. The imagery was great. I had a clear picture of everything.

This was a great one on lust, one of the seven deadly sins.  I'll be looking forward to stories on the other deadly six.

Great work, Janine.

Thank you thank you and thank you.
I might get to the other six. I dunno. I am in bad habits of trailing off of little projects that I start.

Nice, very intense short on desire and how it can become your captain.

I liked this story. tho i keep thinking he was gonna catch up with her to find his desire did not match the truth.

Hehe. I did think about doing an alternate ending on this one. Maybe at some point, I will.